in case you forgot about me

just wanted to stop by, piss off pprick with my presence and tell ya all to go suck gnat cock. thats all i have to add and by the looks of things, the same is true for the rest of ya whiney fucks. if i missed this place any less i could be world champ.

Impotent Rage - the most attractive quality in a middle-aged man?

OK, I give up. Who are "The Homers" and why, exactly, do Aqua, JC, Roda and others have such utter hate unrequited sexual lust for them? Seriously, no BS responses - I want to know.

Mall Cop

XCGhey, Mall Cop. You're doing an admirable job of standing guard and protecting the Homers. Keep up the good work, XCGhey! We salute you. WankVille is a much safer place to visit because of your efforts.

If I9 Made These...

If only those cocks were purple I9 spokes, the homers would suck the supply chain dry.

Book club Headbadge

Mandatory for next bike

Donkey Konk........

Went on a little road trip to a great New Zealand riding destination, in fact the SSWC 2010 are being held here... I digress.... The area is Rotorua... In local New Zealand speak it is called RotoVegas!

It pissed with rain the whole weekend, had a blast though. Some great riding... If any of you chumps ever get your butts down under, will take you to ride here....

Anyway, took my daughter Mia (3yo) to a wildlife spot, this is a New Zealand Donkey, bet you cant find this in the US of A!

Mia asked some odd questions...

A linky to the riding in this area: Rotorua MTB

Bigotry

"and it really had nothing to do with pissing off the homers, he pissed off the mtbr staff, so you and the other homer hater wankers should swallow your usual "blame it on the wanker-homer" response".

"And BTW, nice faggot purple bike you've built". -RenePhony

"And it[Hungover123's banning] had nothing to do with pissing off the homers".

Sheeeyaright!!!! I ain't buying that for a second. He got booted because you bunch of nutswinging, backslapping, pinhead, circlejerkers, went crying to the moderators. And, you were leading the charge. Don't kid yourself, RenePosuer.

"And BTW, nice faggot purple bike you've built".

That's nice. What a class act you are, ReneBigot. I suppose if I had gone with some other color schemes you may have referred to it as a "Nigger bike", "Beaner Bike", or perhaps a "Kike bike"?

Such a class act.

Sanitized for Your protection!

Empty Shithole, once again sanitized and made safe for the Sheeple of Cyberworld. Anyone who has a dissenting opinion...or doesn't toe the line...you had better GTFOOH!

China and their heavy handed censorship policies, has nothing on that Shithole.

Stridulate

Homers continue to have their rectums twisted into knots by drunkenposter_123.

The irony is that without him... they'd' hear nothing but crickets chirping.

Book Club - Discuss

Rainy day (here in Los Angeles anyway) reading.

What are you reading?

You Americano's need to get your hairy butts down to New Zealand

When are some of you mtber's going to get on down to New Zealand?

HTFU and get yourselves sorted hey!

I was blind but now I can see

I was never much for religion until the blog went but I have been praying to Jeebus day and night for its safe return. I am now a beeleeva.

NO MORE ENABLING OF BOOKCLUB

Hey FoSexual, what where you doing today, the first day of 2k10? I didn't get out for a ride, hell I was lucky to even get in a little eRiding.
.

S O S !!!!!!!

S.... O...fucking... Sssssssssss!!!!!!

Homerdom (WankVille) is under seige. The poor bastids are freaking
out that someone has strayed from their lockstep, frat boyish, nutswinging, backslap-a-thon.

It's gotten ugly. Even, the level headed, "voice of reason" - JNC... has attempted to regain
control of the asylum. But...it's not looking good. Nope. Not good at all.

That malignant, narcisstic, idiot-child, MTN_emphysema123, is the H1N1 virus of WankVille. He singlehandedly has the forum regulars in a tailspin.

It's Chaos.

It's a mess.

Quick...WankVille. You know how Gotham city would send up the Bat
signal in times of peril? WankVille needs to send up up a Wheezy signal. And pronto!

Ohh...the humanity!!!!

Happy Holidays, Dirtbags

Happy holidays to the homers, homos, fanboys, and homer-fanboys with more e-gnar and crutches than reality gnar.

Get bent!

The New Bike per 29Inches' Request

How silly of me...the one place on the internet I did not post this

New Infomercial King??

RIP Billy Mays !!!

In the 29’er M-Biking world here are my top 3 Infomercial Kings.

3. Agua: Has anyone been on the Homer website lately? He posts on the greatness of the DW Homermobiles and there are also plenty of rock rolling pictures! Next he gets a FREE Sultan shipped to his door with his CUSTOM color choice! Way to keep it real Agua!!!

2.Fo Shizzle: His evangelical praising of anything LYNSKEY is sickening. Everywhere I phucking turn he is posting on MTBR’s 29’er board, All Mountain, Homer videos of his new LYNSKEY! and infomercial drivel. Let’s not forget Pleasantville (STR), F88 ….and the list goes on. My guess is that he struck an “Agua deal” and got that flexy frame for FREE.

1. Do you have to ask? Why doesn’t this guy post in the PASSION FORUM. Oh yea then he couldn’t sell his products.

Complete Lack of Stoke.

The place has a complete lack of stoke, so like, it's lame. Where is all the stokeage? If I don't start seeing more stoke I won't waste my time here anymore, even though I have plenty of spare time now due to the recession. Stoke stoke.

Who to listen to on MTBR

How do you know who's advice to take on MTBR? Everyone is an expert, right? Well, Fo has the answer.

Queer Eye for the MTB guy

Paging Fo Shitzzle...please advise.

Biggest Tool

Aside from Fo, who is the biggest tool posting on Empty Beer?

Discuss.

Safety Breaks?

Discuss.

The FoSkey needs this, classy!

Laser etched

Proof positive rigid 29ers suck

I've *heard* they suck going down the chunk, now I know for sure.

Concussion & bruised ribs as well, ouch!

PBR me! from the front range boards

Ultimate Poseur Cred

With all the dough I saved by not buying a DWL Sultan I was able to pick up a totally awesome poseur bike on Ebay - $325 - Slightly less than the cost of a King ISO rear hub. But then again, this thing has no brakes, or shifters, no option to coast, it's not a Turner, and has no carbon (yet). However, the poseur value is priceless and there is really nothing more exciting than ripping down a hill with no option other than to hang on and pedal. It just screams snobbery. I'm the Anti-Fo (except for the snob part).

Push fork tune?

Actually a serious question but feel free to rip on me

I'm sending the RP23 on my Sultan into Push to get tuned and was considering sending in my Reba Team as well. I've had Push do a few shocks and have been very pleased with the results but never a fork.

The Reba is working great and I don't have any complaints about performance but maybe I'm missing something, has anyone done a fork tune thru them? Thoughts??

I do like the idea of both susp. comp's being tuned the same for my riding but not sure if it will make any real world diff, the shock tunes were noticable but mostly I liked having a quality place to service the shock and not deal with Fox!

They Eat Their Young

It's always entertaining to watch the chest thumping and IKE's going at it, over in WankVille.

They eat their young.

Please give!

Mannnnn.....it's been nice and quiet with that festering, vacuous, tithead, Fo...out on his ghey loveboat cruise .

Anyone care to start a donation to get him to take vacations more often?

Freak of Nature !

Since Fo is out cruisin..........I figured I would muck up his Blahg with some Nature shots ! Yeah , that aint no white ugly DWL horse either its an Albino moose which is a freak of nature just like Foshizzle ! I'd rather see some hot babes strollin the beach in skimpy bikinis but that's not going to happen..........life sucks in the frozen north ! Almost time to dig out the snowboard and xc skis.....bleah !

Yapper Dogs

I hate little fucking yapper dogs. Little, obnoxious shits...with big mouths.

Irrelevance

Anyone else notice how good ole F31 is no longer the cool destination on Empty Beer that it once was? It seems the All Mountain crowd have taken over with great threads like Turner RFX DW or Intense Uzzi VP. And there being 30+ posts comparing a real bike that's in production and one that is as available as unicorn shit. And another thread asking about the relative merits of the different forks to put on this mythical beast. And finally, the thread that went off topic about why DT should build a slopestyle DW 5 Spot. It seems like the circle is shrinking on the circle jerk that is the Turner forum. Kinda too bad, I guess. But is the Turner forum's decline the 29er forum's gain?

Thanksgiving Cruise on the Love boat with Fo and Squeaky

How cute, the 2 closet homo's are hooking up for a Thanksgiving cruise

Did you win this cruise with your last luxury sports car purchase Dr. RichyRich?

Since I'm poor white trash I plan on staying home and cooking MikeseeMe's Bacon loaf on Turkey day, accompanied by plenty of alcohol and football.

Tubeless "going flat" feeling

I know the advice here is the better than that other place so here goes - I just switched to tubeless and am running 18PSI in back and 12 PSI up front, super low pressures just like everybody at that other place suggested. Problem is I'm 225lbs in the shower, and my tires now feel like they're almost flat - almost like I don't have enough air in them. What's up? Am I missing something really obvious? Thanks!!

Terminal Douchey-ness

OK...this is rich!

If you've ever had any doubts as to the depths of douchey-ness that can be reached on Empty Beer, specifically in WankVille..., I submit exhibit A.

XCGhey, who apparently is injured, and can't ride... bestows upon his make believe buddies in HomerVille, his latest hiking exploits complete with pictures.

Now, as if these hiking pictorials aren't nausea inducing in and of themselves..czech out XCGhey's latest heart wrenching contribution.

"What Really Matters"
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=572972

Apparently, someone he knows was held up and robbed at gunpoint and he is very, very distraught.

So upset in fact, that he felt compelled to go on MTBR and post up the story...complete with a weepy, sappy, U-Toooob video to hammer the emotional point home.

"So, just a few pics and a video which kinda matches my mood at the moment. Hey, everyone, tell your loved ones you love them right now 'cause you just never know."

OMFG!!!

What skeeves me out... is how some of these douchebags possess these bizarre, parallel lives, so entrenched in chat room forums... and seemingly compelled to share their life's most personal, and significant events with their make believe internet buddies.

Facebook has nothing on Empty Beer.

Stay tuned...If his pet hamster developes anal warts...I'm sure we'll be the first to hear about it.

How To Write a PRO REVIEW

Take a hint, Sutton.

1. Perfect use of "...and I couldn't be happier"
2. Perfect description of the gnar of the riding (thus adding to the street cred)
3. Use of big words like "negligible", to further increase credibility
4. Proper disclosure of XC usage, but with a Lyrik
5. Wording implying the equipment is animate
6. Expert talk about efficiency...then talking about how there's more to it than efficiency

"have another month under my belt on this setup and I couldn't be happier. Chumba's settings on the CCBD seem about dialed. I ended up with an extra click one LSC and 1/4 turn HSC. I am riding Midwestern tight single track with lots of small elevation changes.

I started using my VF2 with a Pike fork and immediately noticed how much smoother the rear coil was to the dual air fork. I bit the bullet and bought a Lyrik coil. It felt a little mushy from the factory so I added the optional extra firm spring along with a spring sleeve to alleviate spring noise from the fork. Now the bike feels completely balanced. This fork is sweet. It literally gobbles up stuff. You can pedal right through a street curb or small log and the shock just absorbs it with very little feedback. I started running the Lyrik at 140mm, I am now running it almost all the way out maybe 155mm, I like the slacker feel.

I love this bike. I came off a XCL with air5.0/Pike dual air and the vf2 with coil shocks is just so much better. I feel the carbon fiber rear triangle doesn't hurt the ride either, it feels less ping-y to me. I can't tell you how much I prefer the coil vf2 over the air XCL. The CCDB is sweet and improves the bikes handling, comfort and climbing ability. I also like the fact I can still load the suspension to pop over obstacles. Efficiency and weight changes seem negligible to me. The VF2 lighter weight may balance the weight difference of the shocks.

I think people should realize that there is more to a good bike than ultra light weight and total efficiency. I am confident that most riders would be way happier on spring shocks in most conditions other than competitive XC. It is just a better setup and it will enhance the quality of the ride and the capability of the bike. Beyond that I was stoked about my XCL before this and I always thought it was a great all-around balanced bike with great handling. This setup VF2 is just a better bike."

New Sheriff in Town

Step aside PUSH Industries and CCDB...I am the new soon to be Homer-approved, must-have, cant-live-without, impress-the-other-homers shock

POLL

Why is the poster formerly known as Analmouse such a pathetic internet loser?

a) Cause he is a chickenshit sack of ass
b) He's an E buddy of cactuSCORNED
c) He has no penis thus purchases custom Ti bikes and luxury sports cars
d) He didn't get enough nipple time as an infant and has no game

Aqua is a phony sack of ass!!!

Poseur redefined.

What a total POS - I always knew there was no way an 80 year old could ride like his pics suggest. Below see the 3 comparos that show the truth, i.e., pre-photshop by that lying sack Aqua.

I would like to acknowledge the good investigative work of the ReTodd, aka El Salt, for his help on this matter.

Suck my balls AnalmousE!

Hey AnalmousE

SUCK MY HAIRY BALLS!!!!!!!!

The only thing that sucks worse than you is DW Turners and cactuSCORNED!

Oh yeah, and BTW, FUCK YOU!

YOU FUCKIN RETARRRRRRRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all

Watered-down Hate Requested

Due to popular demand, clearly from folks with less spine than i thought, they prefer to know who is insulting them (as if that will stop people).

In any event, I removed the Anonymous option for posting so where before I allowed all people to post, including these cowards, that is no longer

Stop the Madness!!!

Stop posting anonymously, you fucking Goons.

It degrades the quality of this Blahg when you do that.

Fragile as Aqua's Ego

In the spirit of leveraging this rad blagh as a PSA, I want to warn you about one of the many sheep-supported and most overrated bike components.

Stop using MTBR for all your purchasing decisions and stop believing every cut and pasted cliche you idiots read! Wishful thinking I am sure but I care about you so I felt the need to try.

Please replace immediately if you have one and do so with a carbon stem to increase the robustness of said part. You are welcome.

Culinary Arts

Yo Fo:

Perhaps if you started posting up some of your culinary creations you could get more exposure for this POS Blahg.

Just sayin'.

A match made in Heaven

I was unaware of these until today. I know many of you agree that carbon is an optimal material for MTBing, and I also know you agree that Ellsworth makes a top 10 bike, most likely a top 3 bike...so no doubt the wheels, especially coupled with carbon, will be equally outstanding.

My only complaint is that they dont have a 29er version in carbon. While I would not pay the retail of $2000, I would easily pay $1750 for such a pair of wheels.

"Interesting" Bike for sure

Perhaps the best part is we no longer have to hear that the Lenz is the only bike with geometry good enough for Mikesee! Speaking of Lenz, why was that bike called the PBJ? Park Bike? A supposed DH bike is NOT a Park bike by most peoples definition. Yes, Whistler is a "Park" but not a great name, but I digress.

Here is Intense's new 29er idea on the matter, a la model 2951, which looks entirely rad. I am sure DeeZee will buy one just cuz he is an Intense whore, and so he can shuttle San Juan.

The more you know...

Consider this a PSA for MTBing...yes folks, this is not golf, which by definition cannot be a sport since you consume more calories while playing than you burn.

I would like to thank Felchaholic for this thread link. I am convinced it grabbed his attention given the resemblance to his mangina. Nevertheless, wear your pads!!! and skate lid of course.

http://forums.mtbr.com/showpost.php?p=6277437&postcount=1

PCC

Oh GOD please save this BLOG.

I've got a set of Fo's Moms undies for the winner. Skid marks included!

Time for Fo to pack it in...

Faux, I hear you celebrated your 100th birthday recently. Seriously, isn't it about time you stopped trying to hang with the cool MTB kids and started a more appropriate hobby, like embroidery?

Hey Fo...Fuck You!